You have a charming way with words. Write a letter this week.
"Dear IRS, I am confident the government has been perfectly responsible with the money I gave you last year and invested it so wisely that there is no need for me to send you money again this year."
Humor is an affirmation of dignity.
However, I enjoy a lot of humor at the expense of your dignity.
An unexpected event will soon make your life more exciting.
"Run! Godzilla has been revived!"
"You fool! I told you nothing good would come from exposing his carcass to nuclear explosions inside the Earth's core! When will you learn to respect the boundaries of science?!"
You must experience failure to appreciate success.
Then you're going to be ecstatic when you finally write a good cookie fortune.
The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.
Right... If armed thugs break into your house to take you for ransom, try handing one of them an encyclopedia. See how that works out.
Courtesy is one of the best peacemakers.
But if courtesy fails, a revolver works well too.
Anyone can memorize things, but the important thing is to understand it.
"I memorized Pi to fifty decimal places."
"Ah, you memorized them, but do you understand what those decimal places mean?"
"...are you drunk?"