You can be a victor without having victims.
But what's the point of winning if you can't rub it in the loser's face?
You grow up the first day you have your first good laugh -- at yourself.
You also grow old the first day you look in the mirror and cry.
We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.
So always pour water on all your problems to check if they are in fact soluble.
You will discover an unexpected treasure.
And you can expect the government to take half.
Life must be lived forward, but can only be understood backwards.
Unlike the show Lost which can never be understood.
Do not desire what you do not need.
Ooh, that's going to make me cut back on the Chinese food. I might not be getting too many new fortunes if I follow this one.
If you want to get a sure crop with a big yield, sow wild oats.
???!! What the crud?! Why is a fortune cookie promoting promiscuity?
A day without smiling is a day wasted.
Does mocking laugher count as smiling? 'Cause that's what happened when I read this.
You will be awarded some great honor.
Which your coworkers will resent you for.
Accept the affections offered to you - they are sincere.
I don't care if they're sincere. The dog is trying to lick my face after licking itself.
You will move to a wonderful new home within the year.
Anywhere but Lodi qualifies as wonderful (except maybe Stockton).
All that we are is a result of what we have thought.
But imagine if ALL that we thought resulted in what we are... Space samurai, space samurai, space samurai! Hey, why am I not holding a katana yet?