"Comic perfection, one pixel at a time."


A letter of great importance may reach you any day now.
You're being audited. Congrats!

The strengths in your character will bring you serenity.
Since my strengths are sarcasm and criticism, that explains why pointing out someone's flaws always makes me feel better.

Life is a series of choices. Today yours are good ones.
Are you sure? The straining button on my pants seems to indicate I should have skipped the all-you-can-eat buffet.

Your troubles will cease and fortune will smile on you.
That sounds a lot like death, except the fortune goes to those who collect on your life insurance.

A wise man will soon enlighten you.
That shouldn't be too hard after having my expectations lowered by these fortune cookies.

A good position and a comfortable salary will be yours.
So long as you are willing to take the fall during the indictment for insider trading.

Opportunity knocks on your door every day. Answer it.
Oh, so opportunity can knock on a door every day, but when I do it, it's considered harassment? How else am I supposed to talk to her? She blocks my calls and emails, and she told the post office to shred my letters. I guess opportunity has better lawyers.

Meet the Characters

meet the charactersMeet Chris, Billy, Eis, Derek, and all the other characters

Eis' Hero Guide

eis hero guideSince Eis is such a superb hero, he's giving out lessons.

Fortune Cookies

“You will soon witness a miracle.”
Spam will be made with quality meat!


rpg gameSeven great heroes quested to defeat evil... they all died

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