"Comic perfection, one pixel at a time."


You are a person of culture.
(You can't hear it right now, but I'm on the ground laughing.) The only culture I get is in cheese form.

People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did it.
If that's the case, then don't mind me, boss. I work best after napping from 1 till 3 in the afternoon.

Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.
Prosperity also charges an exorbitant amount of money until the patent expires.

An unexpected event will soon bring you fortune.
Your house was unexpectedly broken into. Enjoy the bad fortune.

A truly creative person rids himself of all self-imposed limitations.
However, a court order can put some of those limitations back on you.

Adapt to circumstances in order to make progress.
If your enemy lights you on fire, give your enemy a hug.

A short saying oft contains much wisdom.
And yet, I haven't had a fortune cookie that has found any of these sayings.

You will soon be crossing desert sands for a fun vacation.
Why am I crossing desert sands? There's nothing fun in the desert. I want beach sand not desert sand!

It is necessary; therefore it is possible.
Define "necessary". Many illnesses have no cure, but bacon ice cream has been invented.

Meet the Characters

meet the charactersMeet Chris, Billy, Eis, Derek, and all the other characters

Eis' Hero Guide

eis hero guideSince Eis is such a superb hero, he's giving out lessons.

Fortune Cookies

“You will soon witness a miracle.”
Spam will be made with quality meat!


rpg gameSeven great heroes quested to defeat evil... they all died

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