"Comic perfection, one pixel at a time."


Modify your thinking to handle new situations.
Eh, C4 handles pretty much any situation.

From a past misfortune, good luck will come to you.
That milk you let go bad for a really long time has now turned into an exotic cheese.

As the wallet grows, so do the needs.
Whoever wrote this was an idiot. Money exceeding needs equals growing wallet.

Listen these next few days to your friends to get answers you seek.
Mullets are no longer in style? Are you sure? Fine, I'll cut it off.

To make dreams real, first you have to have them.
You saying I'm not ambitious? You saying I should aspire to something better? Excuse me for not having reached the esteemed position of fortune cookie writer.

Your place in life is in the driver's seat.
Forget that. I'd rather have a chauffeur.

Your road to glory will be rocky, but fulfilling.
Chauffeur, take me to glory. Oh, and let's stop by Carl's Jr. on the way.

Meet the Characters

meet the charactersMeet Chris, Billy, Eis, Derek, and all the other characters

Eis' Hero Guide

eis hero guideSince Eis is such a superb hero, he's giving out lessons.

Fortune Cookies

“You will soon witness a miracle.”
Spam will be made with quality meat!


rpg gameSeven great heroes quested to defeat evil... they all died

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