Go for the gold today! You'll be the champion of whatever you do.
 Then I shall be the champion of eating ice cream while watching cartoons.
Pay attention to your nonverbal cues, and try turning it down.
 In other words: you're annoying everyone. Stop it. 
You are wise to keep your eyes wide open at all times.
 Because I'm coming for you. 
There are no bad days; some are just better than others.
 And the comparison will only help you realize just how worse your day can get. 
In the end all things will be known.
 But since it's the end, no one will care.  
The surest way to have nothing to give is to give nothing.
 I always have something to give: criticism, sarcasm, insults, mockery, scathing laughter...  
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.
 ...as you drag him off the couch to help with the housework.  
It is more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others.
 Judging myself is easy. I = Awesome. Judgment done.  
This year your highest priority will be your family.
 Since I'm single, that means my highest priority will be me. Alright!

 Meet Chris, Billy, Eis, Derek, and all the other characters
Meet Chris, Billy, Eis, Derek, and all the other characters Since Eis is such a superb hero, he's giving out lessons.
Since Eis is such a superb hero, he's giving out lessons. “You will soon witness a miracle.”
“You will soon witness a miracle.” Seven great heroes quested to defeat evil... they all died
Seven great heroes quested to defeat evil... they all died