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Eis' Pickup Lines

Having trouble wooing a woman? Use one of Eis' pickup lines to convince her that you're a bold and adventurous hero.

(If you don't get all of the references, play more Final Fantasy or other RPG's.)


  • Want to go for a ride in my airship?
  • I'm the Destined Hero. Want to join my party?
  • Are you a Save Spot? Because ignoring you would be a big mistake.
  • I have a sword that weighs more than I do.
  • My heart is at Critical, but I know you can Heal it.
  • You must be an Eye Drop because I was Blind till I met you.
  • No spell or Remedy could free me from your Charm.
  • According to my Scan, you're Weak against the muscular, blue haired type. (Insert your own personal description.)
  • You are like a random treasure chest in a dungeon full of monsters.


If for some reason these lines don't get you a date, don't blame me. Blame yourself for taking advice from Eis.

Meet the Characters

meet the charactersMeet Chris, Billy, Eis, Derek, and all the other characters

Eis' Hero Guide

eis hero guideSince Eis is such a superb hero, he's giving out lessons.

Fortune Cookies

“You will soon witness a miracle.”
Spam will be made with quality meat!


rpg gameSeven great heroes quested to defeat evil... they all died

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