Mission 1: Trying to not die at the very beginning

Tanuki 11

Von Belsing:"Do I know you from somewhere? Why does my head suddenly feeling like burning?"

Malvasia: "Hey strangers, you look familiar! I have vague memories of a falling comet...up close and personal. What would you like to drink today?"

Derrek: "Sorry, Alice Dood, for using your guinea pig as an improvised throwing weapon...looking back on it, it was a fairly reckless thing to do, nor did it really help in the long run. You'll have to forgive me, I wasn't feeling very empathetic at the time being."

"Also I suggest we stop by a town on the way to 're-supply' or whatever. Preferably one with a toy store. I hear 'nerf' toys work great against wizards."

Tanuki 9

Monster: Fine you psycho! Just keep your dirty knives to yourself. The meteors that have been falling are the doing of the Grande Monster. I was ordered by my boss, who was ordered by his boss, who received a memo from his boss, who had a luncheon agreement with his boss, who was told by his boss over drinks, who was ordered by the Grande Monster, to attack. If you want to know more, you'll have to talk to my boss, the Wizard. He lives in the creepy temple place o'er yonder.

Tanuki 8

Derrek and Empathy lock together in a clinch like a bird crashing into a mirror thinking there's another bird there.
15 Year Old Boy tries throwing a rock at Empathy but it misses.
The Monster tries to attack the 15 Year Old Boy but misses somehow to his surprise.
Alice commands her guinea pigs to lay down a smoke screen and suppressive fire...so a guinea pig runs around with a smoke grenade on its back while the others eat some grass.