"Comic perfection, one pixel at a time."

Adventure 2: I Wish We Knew What We Were Doing

Scurvy Dogs 38

Warchef tries to use an explosively rising dough bomb to blast away the enemies and launch himself off the ship, but the Shroomba eats it and grows to a gargantuan size. Warchef tries to make up for his mistake with enthusiasm, thinking he created something marvelous and not realizing how doomed he is.

Jar Jar then punches the distracted greenskin in the back of the head and knocks him out.

Scurvy Dogs 37

Pooky squeals when he sees a rocket shot at him by the Spartan III. Not wanting to be asploded or for the ship to be damaged, he shoots it down with his Care Hare Stare. After the fireworks, Pooky hears Stu yammering about something like shooting the sails instead of seagulls, so Pooky aims for the much larger sails and slices them apart.

Gilbert brings the ship about and into (sort of) the optimal firing range and shouts, "Fire the cannons!"

Scurvy Dogs 36

Red Reaper uses Harbinger of Death on Captain Globe. Rather than invisible hell hounds dragging Captain Globe away as Red Reaper would like, one hound badly gnaws his leg.

Annoyed by the Red Reaper, Captain Globe ends his whirlpool and turns to her saying, "Heart. Give me your heart!" He sucks the heart out of Red Reaper, and she turns into a Heartless. The good news is that this means Red Reaper does in fact have a heart, or used to anyway.

Scurvy Dogs 35

Pooky tries firing another Care Hare Stare at the enemies, but he has trouble hitting anyone at that range.

Gilbert again avoids steering toward the center of the whirlpool and keeps the ship from sinking.

Derrek again puts two cannon shots into the enemy ship, but he doesn't hit anything critical.

Scurvy Dogs 34

Aboard the Copyright Pirates' ship, the blatant image rip-offs now have two targets they can attack.

Feral Barney hurts too much to effectively attack.

Low Graphic Wario swings a tire iron at Red Reaper but misses.

Charredmander breaths fire at Warchef. Warchef, used to handling hot food without ovenmits, ignores the fire.

Captain Globe is busy controlling the whirlpool.

Scurvy Dogs 33

"Oh no, not again," Gilbert mutters under his breath as he tries to steer out of the whirlpool. He doesn't do a very good job of getting out of it, but at least he didn't steer to the center.

"Awesome! Take that you wall-wrecking caff-fiend!" shouts Derrek, looking at Coffee Man through an extendible telescope he picked up somewhere in the cabin. He again manages to load two cannons despite not knowing what he's doing.

Scurvy Dogs 32

It was a dark and stormy night in a star constellation very far away during an unidentifiable temporal point distinct from our own timeline. The great, destined, enchanted, and randomly appointed hero rose up against the obligatory, evil, iconical empire. He waged war with great valiance and his hair ever flowing in the air. Reaching the final, very final, last, greatest, ugliest transformation of the ultimate evil, he called upon the power of his magical cornbread and... What? Pirate adventure? You mean they're all still alive?

Scurvy Dogs 31

Pooky, being the type who likes to snuggle, can't do much from where he is. So he tries something else. He summons a meteorite. It lands on the enemy ship leaving a smoking hole in their deck.

Pages

Meet the Characters

meet the charactersMeet Chris, Billy, Eis, Derek, and all the other characters

Eis' Hero Guide

eis hero guideSince Eis is such a superb hero, he's giving out lessons.

Fortune Cookies

“You will soon witness a miracle.”
Spam will be made with quality meat!

The RPG

rpg gameSeven great heroes quested to defeat evil... they all died

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